This Thanksgiving may be the first time we’ve seen family and friends since the beginning of the Pandemic. I’m both excited and a little nervous. Holidays can be difficult for the hard of hearing. Here are some ways you can make it a little easier on yourself.
T is for Technology
The PockeTalker is an amplifier with a microphone. The speaker talks into a mic, the listener uses earbuds or a headset. It won’t allow you to hear the conversation at the other end of the table but you will hear at least one person better. The Williams Sound PockeTalker is available at many outlets. Amazon lists them at $184, batteries included.
Your smart phone can act as an assistive listening device, using a detachable mic and wired headphones or earbuds with a downloaded app. Try a few headphones and see what works best for you. If your phone is connected by Bluetooth to the hearing aids, you don’t need headphones. Both Android and iPhones have an app called Sound Amplifier. I haven’t tried either. Consumer reviews are mixed. Please add a comment if you have used either of these. There is a charge for Sound Amplifier. [Addendum: The IOS Hearing Aid-Sound Amplifier offers one month free, then $4.99. Readers seem confused about whether there is a charge — even though I say there is. I don’t have an Android phone so cannot check their charge.]
If you’d rather have instant captions, try Otter.ai, an iPhone app, or Google Live Transcribe for Android phones. You can also use systems like Dragon Dictation. I use Otter and have used Live Transcribe. I recommend both. They are free.
Don’t forget the most basic tech fix of all: a pen and paper.
L is for Location.
The best location for a person with hearing loss depends on the nature of their hearing. I hear better from my right ear, for instance, so I try to position myself with at least one strong voice to my right. That way I can ask that person what was said. For others, sitting at the center of the table may allow them to hear the whole table better.
If there’s background music, sit as far from the speakers as possible, or ask the host to turn the music down — or, preferably, off.
If you end up in a particularly noisy spot, ask if you can change seats with someone. Often the easiest time to do this is between courses, or before dessert. Some hosts move guests around at a dessert as a matter of course, a social tradition that can be useful for the hard of hearing.
C is for Care.
Take care of others. There a few things more emotionally rewarding than doing for someone else. Volunteer to serve dinner at a homeless shelter. Invite friends who may not have anywhere else go. I always like to include people newly arrived in America, who don’t know much about Thanksgiving. Often these are friends of my children’s, whose social network is much farther flung than mine.
There are lots of ways the word Care should be part of your Thanksgiving TLC.
First, take care in how you listen. I think of this as mindful listening. As I wrote in an earlier post, “Watch the impulse to say What? or ‘Huh? Think before you respond. What’s the context of the conversation? What parts of the sentence did you get? Is there a logical missing word? We always tell people with hearing loss not to pretend they’ve heard, not to guess. But guessing can be an effective strategy for getting someone to repeat in a way that makes the whole sentence comprehensible.”
In other words, when asking what was said, you’ll get a much more helpful response if instead of “What?” You ask “Did he say this butter is acid free?” That way the speaker knows you’ve missed “lactose free.” [And for those with lactose intolerance, check out Green Valley lactose-free butter.)
Take care of yourself. When it gets too noisy, take a break in another room. Trying to hear is exhausting. Help serve and clear the table. Wash some dishes. Play with the baby. Go home early if you have to.
The T could also stand for Thankful. I hate to sound sentimental, but remember to be thankful for what you do have, rather than making yourself miserable about what you don’t, like good hearing.
This post is adapted and updated from a previous post. For more about living with hearing loss, read Smart Hearing, available at Amazon.com, or Shouting Won’t Help, available at Amazon and other booksellers